He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
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It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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