If that was your dad, he is hot
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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