Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
