I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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