on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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