Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
