After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
