God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize