what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
