thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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