The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
