In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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