God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
