also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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