I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
