I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
