who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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