so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize