i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no, he came in my armpit
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
