She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
