Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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