they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my shit smells like andre
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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