I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize