Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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