Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
