I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
