The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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