I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
