piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
