I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
