next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if only i could text you this smell
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
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Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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