There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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