I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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