he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize