I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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