Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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