I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
