okay pat passed out under dana's car
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
