I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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