I wanna passion pit in your ass
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize