Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Randomize