walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I would fuck him just for his dog
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
