I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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