I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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