Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
