Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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