honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
