some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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