dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
