I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize