I think im going to throw up on grandma
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
