I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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