Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
