it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
