is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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