things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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