If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
