No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
