Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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