Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
