drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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