Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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