38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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