Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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