Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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