never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
